Tell us about the rabbits Mikel!

A secret office deep in the bowels of the Emirates stadium. With the transfer window well and truly open the People Responsible for Arsenal’s Transfer Strategy (P.R.A.T.S) have been working flat out to create a squad that is capable of taking Arsenal to the mythical ‘next level’. The unusual amount of early activity in the market has resulted in an energy and enthusiasm which is palpable in the room. There is a sense of achievement, indeed pride in that achievement. And no one personified this more than chairman Josh Kroenke whose beaming smile illuminated the room.

JK: Guys, I gotta tell you, I am excited, very goddam excited. I’m buzzing right now. We are on the cusp of something real special here, I can feel it. (looks directly at Arteta and Edu). When I told Pops that you two would lead us to the promised land I never believed we would get here so quickly. How long has it been now?

MA: (loudly and proudly) This is season one Josh… (mutters inaudibly) of project three.

JK: Season one, we’re straight in at the top guys!

SR: Yep, 5th place, little ‘ol Arsenal, who would have thought it possible?

JK: And it doesn’t end there, does it Mike? (With the unbridled enthusiasm of a child waiting for his birthday present) Tell me about the rabbits Mike, tell me how it’s gonna be.

MA: Aw shucks Josh, you don’t need me to tell you that again. You already know it better than me.

JK: (jumping up and down on his seat with uncontrollable excitement) No, please Mike, please, tell me like you done before, please, just once more. (his tongue hanging out of his mouth even as he speaks) Tell us about the rabbits.

MA: Oh alright then…(everyone sits perfectly still despite, or maybe because of, the delightful anticipation coursing through each of them. It was a story they had heard many times before but it never failed to extract the maximum of joy from it’s listeners who were enraptured from start to finish, transported to the magical world that it’s weaver was spinning). Well, guys like us, working in football clubs, are the loneliest guys in the world, always working, nothing to look forward to…

Edu: (unable to control himself, shouts out) But not us Mikel, not us…

MA: (Smiling paternally at him) No, not us.

SR: (Hyperventilating with delight) ‘Cos we got you and you got us…

MA: Sure, I got you and you got me…

JK: (squealing) Tell us how it’s gonna be Mike.

MA: (Glances slowly around at each of them in a calm but measured way, letting them know that he would brook no further interruptions) Well, we’re gonna build a little team in our little stadium. Gonna grow some alfalfa and strawberries in the centre of the pitch, we don’t use that part much, to meet their dietary needs. Gonna keep some rabbits to eat the grass and keep the pitch trimmed.

JK: (Clapping his hands together) And I get to feed them, don’t I? Don’t I Mike?

MA: (looks at him tenderly) Sure, Josh, you get to feed them. (continues painting the scene). Gonna play a few matches, might win some ,might lose some, but it won’t matter cos nobody gets to tell us what to do (as always these words are greeted with a thrill running through his captivated audience). Ain’t nobody gonna hold us accountable for nothin’.

Edu: Cos we gonna live off the fat of the Kroenkes!!

MA: (Proudly) That’s right, we’re gonna live off the fat of the Kroenkes. We’re gonna have our own objectives, none of this accountability rubbish. If we’re winning we’ll look at the league table. And if we’re not, we’ll just make up our own! The season will start when we say it starts. And in Winter time, when the ice is on the ground and the snow is on the roof, when we’ve run out of players and excuses, when the project will require yet another rebranding, we won’t care what anybody else says…

JK: (Moved to tears) Cos we’ll have each other…

MA: (holding out his hands to the members either side of him who in turn hold hands until all the P.R.A.T.S are holding hands in a circle) Yes, we’ll have each other…and your Daddy’s money of course.

JK: Pops money, of course.

SR: Yes, we’ll need that.

Edu: Definitely.
(The spell created by the telling of the tale is ended and a more business like tone is assumed).

JK: Speaking of having each other’s backs I’d just like to put on record once again my thanks to Mike over the whole Vieira confusion.

MA: (Quickly and with emphasis) There’s no need…really.

JK: (Totally unaware of Arteta’s unease). No, no Mike, it needs to be said. Only for you I’d have looked like I just fell off the turnip truck. When my Pops told me it was time to get Vieira in, I damn near messed it up. Nearly rang Buckingham Palace.

Edu: (surprised) Crystal Palace? What stopped you?

JK: (With admiration) Why, my good friend Mike here explained to me that I was after getting my Vieira’s mixed up and that Pops wanted that young guy from Lisbon. Christ on a bike, seems I was the only guy who hadn’t heard of this kid. Mike told me how all the big clubs were after him. Well, I knew then that he must be the one Pops wanted. Makes sense.

Edu: (looking at Arteta while thoughtfully rubbing his chin) It’s certainly starting to…

MA: ( Rapidly attempting to move the conversation on) Anyway, you still have the letter?

JK: (Holding up a piece of paper) Sure have Mike, Pops signed it himself.

SR: (Confused) What letter?

JK: (Sulkily) Well Pops said that we can’t go spending his money unchecked anymore, some rubbish about not throwing good money after bad, whatever that means! Now I have to get a letter from him every time we want to buy a player. But Mike here (winking at Arteta) came up with a plan.

MA: (With obviously false humility) It was nothing really…

JK: Mike, it was genius. (Whispers conspiratorially to the group). See, what we did was, we went to Pops looking for a few bucks to buy that Marquinhos dude. But when Pops was writing the ok he couldn’t spell the name, nor could I, and Mikel here pretended he couldn’t either (All eyes turn to Arteta).

MA: (Blushing furiously) Pretended…yeah.

JK: So Pops gave me a letter saying ‘Give the kid the money to sign the Brazilian dude’. Goddam it’s like a blank cheque…all we have to do is keep buying Brazilians, this letter gives me access to all the money we need. Marquinhos? Yes please!

MA: Gabriel Jesus? Thank you very much.

SR: Raphina? Well, why ever not?

Edu: (slowly comprehending what he’d just heard) So that’s why I’ve spent more time in Brazil than the great train robbers! But, hold on…how did you squeeze the money for Vieira? He’s Portuguese!

JK: Same thing isn’t it? All the Portuguese speak Brazilian don’t they?

Edu: (shocked at the ignorance) No! They’re not the same. Brazilians speak Portuguese.

JK: (Amazed) You mean Brazilians are ambidextrous? They speak Brazilian AND Portuguese? That’s awesome man, they are even cleverer than I thought. (Pauses for dramatic effect) You know I’m ambidextrous too?

SR: (Impressed) Really?

JK: (Proudly) Yep. I can speak English and American…self-taught.

Edu: (shaking his head) You mean you’re bilingual?

JK: (vehemently) No sir! Not me! I’m a ladies man only. (Embarrassed) The other night on the boat…I thought she said her name was Shemal…sounded exotic….I didn’t know honest..

MA: (whispers to Edu) Took him 12 hours in the bed to find out…

Edu: (whispers back) Well in his defence it takes him a long time to get a grip on most things!
(At this point Inaki Cana, the legendary blind goalkeeping coach removes his dark glasses and addresses the meeting)

IC: Gentlemen, this Brazilian-only rule is all fine and well, but may I remind you that Brazil’s two finest goalkeepers are already in the hands of the top two teams in this country. We cannot hope to poach them.
MA: (looks questioningly at him) Poach them? Why would we do that? We spent £30 million last year on Aaron Ramsdale at your behest.
IC: Yes. And he was good…for a while…was he not? And now it is time for a change. Leno to Martinez to Ryan to Runnarson to Ramsdale. Now it is time to go again, yes?

MA: (angry) Go again? Go a-fuckingain? Ramsdale is meant to be our long term future. He was bought to man the posts at this club for the next decade!

IC: (Stubbornly) Well no-one told me!

MA: (In disbelief) No-one told you?? What in the name of Christ did you think you were doing?

IC: (Defensively) Hold on a second now. You asked for a goalkeeper, I got you a goalkeeper. How am I meant to know if they’re any good? It’s not bloody Nostradamus you have here you know.

JK: (Whispers to Arteta) Hey Mike, come on, take it easy on the guy. You know we have to keep up our quota of disabled employees. Poor guy can’t see a thing. He was wandering around the local fishmarket for two hours last night offering money to all the staff. Thought he was in a brothel.

SR: Well that explains letting Martinez go.

MA: And telling us that Ramsdale was worth £30 mill.

Edu: And Runnarson.

IC: (Angrily) Stop right there! Runnarson was not my doing. (Remembering) One night last year as I sat at my desk I sensed a presence behind me. I turned to find a man standing there, ‘a friend of the club’ he described himself as. He told me of this brilliant young Icelandic keeper that was the second coming of Peter Schmeichel. He convinced me I’d be mad not to sign him. There was something familiar about this stranger yet I could not quite put my finger on why I felt I knew him. But his argument was convincing and it was on his word that Runnarson was signed.

JK: (shocked) You were tricked Inaki! Did you get a good look at him?

IC: It was dark and my eyesight was betraying me even then. But he was tall and thin, elegant one might say, with a hooked nose and small beady eyes that shone with a madness. His hair was silver and he wore a jacket with a FIFA badge sewn into it’s pocket. He spoke with a gallic accent that was an intoxicating mixture of intelligence and condescension. He spoke of moving the club to the next level.

JK: (in frustration) It’s not much to go on Inaki. Are you sure there was nothing else, no other clue?

IC: (Pondering) No…although he did trip over my cane on his way out the door. When I asked him if he was alright he simply replied “I didn’t see it”. I bent down to pick up my cane but when I stood up he was gone.
(The P.R.A.T.S all stand shaking their heads in disbelief as Cani’s reminiscing ends)

SR: A spy in our midst.

JK: Worse, a master of disguise. He could quite literally be anyone who is grey, tall, thin, hooked nose, French and works for FIFA.

Edu: This is beyond even our intelligence…

MA: (Eyes narrowing, voice lowering menacingly) Perhaps my friends, perhaps. But there is something in that description that has set me thinking. (If this was a film the camera would slowly begin to focus solely on Arteta, first his entire body, then as the following words were spoken moving closer, closer,until only his face was visible) A man…no, a legend, once stalked these corridors. His power was unequalled throughout this club, his influence second to none. But like all great figures his time had to come to an end and it was I who sealed his fate. Yet I always doubted that he was completely gone, often I sensed him, fleetingly, as though he had left a room seconds before I entered. But now I’m certain that my suspicions were correct, his presence here is very real.

JK: (Horrified) You mean…?

MA: (Assuredly) Yes my friend. Inaki’s descriptions have left me in no doubt…Gunnersaurus has returned.
(The scene becomes one of chaos as the P.R.A.T.S cling to each other in fear with only Arteta retaining any composure. There is the steely determination in his eyes of one who recognises a critical juncture ahead…).

To be continued…

This story is entirely original. Any similarities to Steinbeck’s ‘Of Mice and Men’ are not only coincidental but figments of your own imagination. Seek help.


[Satire] is a collection of brilliance from one of our readers Almuniasaynomore, who can be seen lurking in comments often. If you are a gooner by heart, is saddened by the current state of Arsenal Football Club, this section tries to have a laugh at expense of some.

If you feel offended, remember, they’re just jokes. We’re all gonna die soon and there’s no football in hell or heaven, so remember that.

Feedbacks are welcome in the comments!

65 Comments

  1. Kroenkephobe

    Beautifully written Almunia. I started reading it and soon got a pleasant whiff of Steinbeckian aromas. Depression era California meets depression era North London. Xhaka would be a perfect fit for Curley in an Arsenal adaptation of OMAM. If the season starts badly and Arteta gets a serious arse kicking, it might be worth looking at the grapes of wrath…

    Cheers man. That was a tonic. I know your mood vis a vis the club is in the doldrums but it gives me a real lift reading these.

  2. Kroenkephobe,
    Xhaka as Curley is a great call, though he could also play the role of Candy’s dog! Per would be Slim.
    I see Raphinha is flaunting himself like a hooker in Michael Douglas’ house, hard to really want him here isn’t it?
    I’ll say it again. Buy Deckan Rice,no matter what,and we are immeasurably improved straight away. No gambles, no hoping,no project or process. Just a top class player who is an immediate starter in our weakest area of the pitch.
    Too much spin going on as usual. Hope dope being handed out to the masses.

  3. Magic

    Almunia,
    Kroenkephobe has it right. You cheer us up with your humour and wit. I love coming here and reading a blog where people aren’t trying to cut each other with insults. Your articles are the cherry on top so thank you.

  4. The Real Vieira Lynn

    Almunia…another bang up job…your cunning wit has once again encapsulated the oft-times farcical nature of this largely “plastic” regime…of course, we would all enjoy nothing more than to be proven wrong, but everything we’ve witnessed thus far suggests otherwise

    on a bit of a different note, I can’t help but wonder what’s going on behind the scenes when it comes to the new world order of Arsenal blogging…for those who’ve gone far beyond the original “labour of love” intent, something rather peculiar seems to have occurred, in that what would possess anyone with a vested interest to actively discourage those who functionally move their respective needles

    as we all know by now, rightly or wrongly, nothing generates more blog-based activity than negative results and/or highly contentious organizational issues, which have divided our fanbase…so much so that even transfers of consequence or objectively-perceived momentous victories pale in comparison…with this in mind, why are several “popular” sites choosing to pursue a course of action that appears completely counterintuitive, at least from a financial capacity…of course, I’m not talking about eliminating those from the lunatic fringe, I’m talking about actively targeting those learned members of the supporting public who hold a contrarian opinion to the current club-contrived narrative

    I would suggest, as I have stated unequivocally before, that this can only be a plausible business model if someone within the organizational hierarchy is greasing your “dirty” and complicit palms…it’s clear that the ever-burgeoning PR department has learned a thing or two during Wenger’s fractious latter years, like if you don’t make an attempt to control the “outside” narrative, things can go pear-shaped in just such a way as it can severely impact your bottom-line…whereas if you spend wisely, you can better “shape” the message, even in the most trying of times…now some may say they could do this on their own social media platforms, but everyone and their brother knows that, in this day and age, no one believes jackshit when it comes directly from the highly paid and intrinsically-motivated horse’s mouth

    if this speculative “payola” scheme were to be proved, I think it might be the proverbial straw to finally rid ourselves of our absentee landlord and all that this entails…Cheers

  5. Retire10fordivinity

    Almunia, I cannot say anything more that I have not already said, but here’s a new one. You are our own version of David Squires – we never need the cartoon strips as your extraordinary writing skills more than adequately fills us up with the hilarious images in our head. Keep it going man!!!

  6. Kroenkephobe

    Hi Retire

    Good analogy. David Squires is a brilliant cartoonist. If you’ve never read him Alumina (or anyone else for that matter) he’s a mainstay on the Guardian sports site. He captures the absurdity of football and its grimmer side with real wit and incision.

    I agree that our own Almunia is in the same league. I’m loving these satires based on literature.

    Retire – what are your thoughts on the TW so far? It’s a little early to speak definitively but Tets and our Bunga-Bunga expert have had mixed fortunes so far. I like the sound of Lizandro (perhaps linking with TPl but I’m still craving an imposing forward.

  7. Kroenkephobe

    Hi Ambarish
    Just clicked on the coffee cup icon thingy. Great idea and I’d like to contribute. I’m a bit of a technophobe (as well as a Kroenkephobe!) but is the cvc code, the last three numbers on the back of a debit card?

    I recommend other readers give it a go too. It’s reasonable that we all do a bit to support LiR in my opinion. Grateful for a reply. Perhaps you can do a piece to introduce it? Cheers mate.

  8. Ambarish K

    Thanks Kroenkephobe. I’m just trying to replicate Wenger’s self sustaining model haha

    Advertising space is dying a slow death and I’m not really cool in marketing myself.

    Yes cvc is the 3 digit at the back of your card.. rest assured, ‘buy me a coffee’ is a safe platform to support publishers.

  9. Ambarish K

    Regarding transfer window, I have a mix feeling too.

    I’m one of the few who feels Jesus and Eddie solves our CF problem. Jesus gets us a winning mentality, anyone who has worked under Pep is expected to be disciplined and I have faith in Eddie.

    I’m not even worried about the LB position, Tomi can play as LB, Tavares can do okay-ish job.

    That midfield worries me though. If we are going in with Xhaka alongside an often injured Partey, we are not going to improve. We needed not one but two midfielders, who can hit the ground running. We have Europa too this year.

    I saw AMN in one of the training pics along side Thomas Partey, so here’s what’s gonna happen. We will be presented with a ‘new signing’ in AMN because we will run out of money, or do not persuade our targets to join us.

  10. Marc

    Ambarish

    My concerns with Jesus aren’t about his quality or ability it’s Arteta again showing he doesn’t seem to know what he wants or how he wants to play.

    Which of ESR, Martinelli or Saka will be dropped to accommodate Jesus when Arteta realises it isn’t working with him through the middle – which will be down to his own tactics rather than Jesus’s performances – and sticks Nketiah through the middle and Jesus wide because he can’t drop one of his own signings?

  11. Marc

    “I saw AMN in one of the training pics along side Thomas Partey, so here’s what’s gonna happen. We will be presented with a ‘new signing’ in AMN because we will run out of money, or do not persuade our targets to join us.”

    And Xhaka will continue to be the first name on the team sheet whenever possible – what odd’s he slowly starts getting the captains armband?

  12. Kroenkephobe

    Hi Marc

    And Xhaka will continue to be the first name on the team sheet whenever possible – what odd’s he slowly starts getting the captains armband?

    Ooh fuck. That’s going to put me back at Almunian levels of megadeth depression after reading that. You’re right though. All this manoeuvring could be a complete fantasy and we’ll be faced with Curley Xhaka come August. I don’t trust a single word that emanates from the club and its official website (aka le grove).

    Cheers Ambarish. That’s good to know. I’ll get on it.

  13. Kroenkephobe

    ☕☕☕

  14. The Real Vieira Lynn

    nothing speaks to our systemic organizational failures more than the continued presence of our 3-wheeled shopping cart in the starting lineup…this thirsty, wantaway, bird-flipping, accident waiting to happen, has somehow survived 4 coaching/managerial tenures, yet has been underwhelming for the vast majority of his stay…maybe someday we’ll be privy to the hellacious photos/video this player has in his possession that includes incriminating evidence involving someone of great import at our club…even if you didn’t think that he was a tactical albatross, why would you keep someone who simply reminds you of our past failings, especially when he provides exceedingly on the pitch and could be easily replaced

  15. Ambarish K

    Thank you, Kroenkephobe! Appreciate the help.

  16. Ambarish K

    Marc

    We know the answer. ESR was dropped half the season to accommodate Ode when we all knew who deserved to be starting.

    It has happened with Willian earlier. At least there is Europa to keep every player happy with game time.

    Out of all the 3 years of craziness, one thing to appreciate is that we are not buying dross. If Arteta comes out to be next Pep (and soon enough) then everything will be forgotten, if not, any good manager can work with the squad we have without having to replace half the team.

  17. Ambarish K

    Xhaka has Arteta’s nud*s. There is no other explanation unfortunately!

  18. The Real Vieira Lynn

    Just a little LG update, as it appears as if Pedro, or should I say Positive Pete, has been scouring other Arsenal blogs for things me-related…of course, my commonsense pseudo-revolution regarding all things Arsenal-related has hit several roadblocks, the most recent of which occurred on another site that has a non-negotiable pro-Arteta mandate, Just Arsenal…below you will find an exchange between Positive Pete(Pedro) and one of his little site minions, the one and only, thank fucking God, Nigel…after which you will find my response to Pedro visa vie his site provided email…what a fucking wanker of the highest order:

    Positive Pete—Ha Ha Ha hilarious.Another miserable b’Stard over on “ just Arsenal.com”. Getting admonished & prob booted off the blog.Guess who? None other than “ The fake Viera Lyn “.Doesnt seem to be taking it kindly at all.Really should set up their own miserable,pessimistic blog & drown in their misery.Spot on Pedro.

    Nigel—Real Vieira Lynn was Tony. Came back as Tony a day after Vieira Lynn and Kiljoy got binned, saying it was a mistake to ban such intelligent or wise commenters as them.He had a good vocabulary, but clearly not good in dealing with other human beings.I’m sure they’ll be back under new names.Imagine being such a loser that you need to constantly change your identity just to participate in discussions with normal people.

    Positive Pete—Thanks Nigel.Really had no idea that the fake Vera Lyn was actually “ Smug Tony” & their pal ,alter ego was killjoy.Anyway .Whether it’s one ,two or the 3 stooges glad to see the back of their misery. Surely they know most blogs don’t want endless negativity?

    My response—Pedro, or should I say Positive Pete, as you showed your hand a few weeks back, the abject irony of you trying to suggest that I’m the one hiding under a secondary namesake is fucking rich…when you grow a pair and allow those with actually opinions of their own back into your clusterfuck of an echo chamber, I’ll be right here ready to provide you with a desperately-needed foil, as even someone with your obvious predilection for incessant peacocking can’t enjoy the slurpy seconds you’re currently drowning in…I can only assume from your earlier incarnation, during the turbulent latter Wenger years, that somewhere within that seemingly empty shell still exists an individual who enjoys the art of engagement and who isn’t such a fainthearted and conniving twat…Cheers

  19. Ambarish K

    Salah signing on a 350k/week wages. He is a top top player, but that’s insane amount for a striker who relies on pace and is almost 30. I’m getting the Auba vibes here.. good.

    Genuine question – what’s your expectation for this season?

    Anything but a top 3 finish (or 4th and Europa) is a failure for me

  20. Ambarish K

    TRVL

    Internet is turning into a place with extremists. Ignore the non sense, for we spend time online to keep ourselves happy. People are mixing disagreement with hate these days and it’s not only football.

    Hope you are keeping well, stay away from negativity and yep fuck the spuds.

  21. Marc

    Ambarish

    What is it with people and the internet? I’ve got mates I go to the football with – we’ll have a couple of beers in the pub prior to the match and can often massively disagree about something in football but you don’t dismiss their right to have an opinion.

  22. Ambarish K

    Marc

    Because of the anonymity I guess. You can get away with being a cu*t online.

    It was limited to politics few years back, now it’s everywhere.

    You and your friends are keeping it the civil way, that’s how it should be.

  23. The Real Vieira Lynn

    Cheers Ambarish…it’s quite a sad set of circumstances when the snowflakes align themselves with the Arteta Apologists…how can one ever engage in a meaningful discussion with those who’re clearly acting in a totally irrational fashion, especially when they wield all the power and you have functionally no recourse…the funny thing is I enjoy the back-and-forth, so I’m game for just about anything, and I never dig in if the other party isn’t reciprocating, but that matters not if you’re the one with a contrarian opinion, as there’s vastly differing rules for those who don’t toe the party line…it’s like I’ve fucking travelled back in time to the early days of the Wengerian debate, but way worse somehow???

  24. Marc

    Ambarish

    Not sure it’s so civil after a few but the banter is a massive part of football. What you see on Untold (been that way for a long time) and Le Grove now is more like the followers of a cult or religion where any view that doesn’t conform is attacked out of hand.

  25. Killroy-TM

    Live is too short to drink bad wine, weak coffee and futz around with arsenal / arteta trolls. As already mentioned stay away from the minions.

    Tony is a poster who is in Thailand and always posted around midnight US EST or about 5am UK time. So he is definitely not TRVL! he posted an objection regarding the binning of certain individuals as he has done so in the past regarding others. He was spot on with his comments and evaluations. The last post that he made was taken down by Pedro but I read it before it disappeared. I am sure his now also banned.

    There is nothing of value to argue about until the TW is closed and the pre season and the 2022/23 season have started. We will then see what the squad will look like what Arteta has accomplished with the squad and somebody will have to acknowledge they were wrong or as in the case of the LG site spin excuses and deflections.

    As many have already pointed out our midfield is still a mess and needs the most attention atm. If Jesus and Eddie will produce upfront is for me still in question as we are known to lump in crosses that require tall, athletic strikers which we don’t have. It also will reveal to what degree Jesus was depending on the most excellent service that City provided him with. We don’t have a feared KDB or Foden that open up space with their runs. Therefore wait and see if Arteta has compiled a squad that is feared again in the EPL. Plenty of time for the I told you so stories.

  26. Marc

    TRVL

    What’s gone on is just strange – there’s a father and son who sit one seat away from me both really good guys (son my age ish the father must be late sixties or more) now I know I’ve got on their nerves with the criticism of Arteta but in one of the last matches of the season the son turns to me and says something along the lines of “I’d rather spend the money on playing golf than watch this next season” but he’s still behind Arteta.

    It just doesn’t make sense.

  27. Marc

    Killroy

    Whilst I agree with you to a point and I won’t criticise new signings (in general) until they’ve had a run in the team questions about the signing of Jesus are valid. It’s not a debate about the quality of the player it’s a question about Arteta’s tactics and whether those players will fit into how he plays – exactly as you’ve said.

    The major issue is a number of us just don’t trust Arteta to know what he’s doing.

  28. The Real Vieira Lynn

    Spot on Marc…never once have I attacked what Jesus brings to the equation, from a skillset standpoint…for me, the far more pertinent question was how this particular player moves our largely negative tactical needle…now some have suggested that a 4-3-3 base formational shift is in our immediate future, but nothing we’ve seen thus far would add any credence to this rumour, especially if MA’s Swiss miss bestie and Ode are still regular starters…logic would suggest that what this club needed most, with this tactical naïve manager at the wheel, was a proper DM, with some ball distribution skills, and a pacey Striker with considerably more height than our present two options…if this had been done, I would have no problem with the Vieira get and our young Brazilian prospect, as at least our most pressing needs would have been prioritized…at some point, this organization must be held accountable for it’s seemingly incessant tendency to totally ignore it’s most glaring weaknesses

  29. Killroy-TM

    What totally baffles me is how top clubs are willing to spend mega bucks on players that were bought for half the transfer fee a year or two prior. Why didn’t AFC spot these players when they were to be had for a decent fee? To make the point Guen & Saliba were bought for a low fee, both of them if they were at AFC would now go for mega bucks or play another year at the club after an extension and then sold for a premium. Sorry forgot for a moment this was not done under the present P.R.A.T..S.

    This is how Dortmund does it with Haaland and mega profits to be followed by Bellingham also with mega profits, which we missed when he moved to Dortmund. We just don’t have the skill set or tools in the locker to replicate that. The ONLY one difference I can spot, the P.R.A.T.S and their associates the scouting department, if we even have one are culpable for it.

    Often I cringe when I here we are after a player like Raphina who was bought by Leeds in October 2020 for £17 million, why did we not find this in demand player ourselves?

    As long as KSE is willing to through good money after the P.R.A.T.S. be my guest just deliver the goods at the end of the season.

  30. Kroenkephobe

    Anyone watching the euro u19 finals tonight. Ingerland beating that well known european country Israel 3-1 in ET. Brooke Norton Cuffy looking really good but we should be trying to sign Carney Chukwuemeka from Villa. Fucking tremendous – just like PV 4 at that age.

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