January, 2023. Under the guidance of Mikel Arteta and his DOF, Edu, Arsenal have risen to the top of the premiership table. But despite this Lazarus-type resurrection nobody at the club was taking anything for granted. The intensity of competition amongst England’s elite clubs was reflected by the awareness amongst Arsenal’s leaders that this was no time for self congratulation. Instead, the opening of the transfer window presented the club with an opportunity to strengthen a squad that many felt would not last the distance against the two Manchester giants and a growing threat in England’s North East.
It was under these circumstances that the People Responsible for Arsenal’s Transfer Strategy (P.R.A.T.S) assembled in the pristine and hallowed surroundings of Arsenal’s boardroom.
As the scene unfolds before us, a clearly upset and emotional Mikel Arteta is standing before the others, demanding answers. The intensity of his emotional trauma is clearly evident in the two hairs above his left ear which are no longer perfectly aligned with the rest. The Arsenal manager is incandescent with rage.
MA: I will ask you this one more time and one more time only. How the fuck did we lose him?
(There is a palpable silence as Arteta slowly shifts his gaze from one person to another, daring them to speak yet challenging them not to. Only goalkeeping coach Inaki Cana returns his stare though in truth it isn’t clear if he even sees Arteta from behind his dark shades. The silence grows in tandem with the manager’s rage)
And not just lose him, but lose him to those chav bast*rds! What the fuck do they have to offer that we don’t? I mean am I missing something here? (Turns to his assistant manager Steve Round) Steve, who’s top of the league?
SR: We are boss.
MA: Exactly! And Edu who plays attractive football with an attacking and vibrant style?
Edu: (nervously) We do boss?
MA: Exactly!
(Edu wipes his brow and smiles in relief)
MA: (turns to chairman and son of owner Josh Kroenke) And Josh, who’s offering this Ukranian kid a chance to play in London and earn more money that he can dream of?
JK: Chelsea.
MA: No! No!! No!!! (starts jumping up and down while somehow simultaneously beating his fists on the table) We are! We’re top dogs in London now! He should have joined us! (An accusing look appears in his eyes once more) Something smells fishy here.
IC: (Defensively) It can be difficult for the visually impaired to maintain a regular bathing routine you know.
MA: (slowly, menacingly) I was referring to the failed transfer. Somebody here is keeping secrets. (once again his icy stare sweeps across the room, withering all in it’s wake, uncovering the most deeply buried skeletons.. one by one each member succumbs to Arteta’s power)
SR: It was just once boss and I swear the doctor told me the stockings would improve my circulation.
IC: It was a freezing winter that year, sheep can bring great warmth to a bed.
RG: You don’t understand, I had been a very, very bold boy, I HAD to be punished.
(Watching in horrified awe Josh Kroenke hurriedly whispers to Edu)
JK: For the love of God, tell him. If he turns that look on me who knows what I might say? Twins don’t have to be two girls, I mean, who knew?
Edu: (Equally uncomfortable) You’re right. The time has come. (in saying this Edu looks directly at a painting on the wall of legendary Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger and with an almost imperceptible nod he sends a signal that had long been planned. Turning to Arteta he addresses him with gentle but firm words)
Mikel, there is something we need to tell you. I think you should sit down.
MA: Not you as well, you sound like that c*nt Richard Keys. I can’t sit down for 90 minutes and still look this good (he lifts his t-shirt to reveal chiselled abs) Those carbs aren’t going to burn themselves you know.
Edu: I’m not talking about during the game, I mean now. You should sit down now.
JK: Yeah Mike, we gotta talk. Pops sent Ricky (points to Stan Kroenke’s lawyer Richard Garlick) over here a few months ago with some pretty bad news. We didn’t have the heart to tell you.
MA: Tell me? Tell me what?
JK: It’s gone Mike.
MA: Gone? What’s gone?
Edu: (wearily) The money. The blank cheques. The magic porridge pot.
JK: Pops has pulled the plug on the unlimited funding. He was, like, bummed. Kept talking about profits and sustainability and shit. Kept going on about Arsenal being a business. Weird shit I tell you. I tried to explain that this (expands both arms to take in his surroundings) is a football club not a business but he wouldn’t see sense. Man was tripping.
MA: (speaking slowly, an air of disbelief resonating with every word) So what happens when I give multi million contracts to players like Aubameyang and Willian and then decide I don’t like them anymore? Surely I can just pay them to fuck off?
RG: Mr Kroenke was clear. You’re not to do that anymore.
MA: What?? (becoming angry) Does he think I’m bloody clairvoyant? How am I meant to know if these players are going to be worth the money or not?
JK: (soothingly) We know Mike, it’s madness.
MA: (unmoved by the solace on offer) And how the hell does he think I’m going to continue developing this team if I’m not given hundreds of millions each year to buy new players?
Edu: (visibly moved) It’s cruel, we know.
MA: And what about project youth? Did you explain to him how I have given away our team for a pittance and replaced them with expensive young players? Surely he sees the value in this?
JK: I’m afraid not Mike. He said that people who unearth diamonds don’t do it by walking into High Street shops and offering even more money than the robbing jewellers are already charging.
MA: (confused) What does that even mean?
Edu: (hands spread wide) Fu*ked if I know.
RG: (Coughing softly) Ah gentlemen, if I may? Mr Kroenke has been most clear. You are free to spend the proceeds of any player sales that you complete but you will be expected to limit your spending in future to money generated from the club’s incomes. However as a gesture of good faith he has instructed me to forward you the sum of £40 million pounds to help with the purchase of any targets you may have.
MA: (Optimistically) £40 million? (looks to Edu) How much can we raise in sales?
Edu: (Takes out a pocket calculator and with professional intensity casts his tongue out of the side of his mouth and begins mumbling) Let me see, sale of Leno…Guendouzi…Bellerin…Auba… (his muttering becomes inaudible as all present strain to hear him. Finally, triumphantly, he finishes and declares) £21 million!!
MA: (appeased) Ok then, we combine the two and we have £61 million to play with. We can do something with that.
Edu: (Embarrassed) Eh, not exactly boss. £21 million is what we have left over from the £40 million gift. By the time we pay Ozil’s wage and Auba’ ‘going away’ gift it’s all we’ll have left.
MA: £21 fucking million. What the fuck are we going to get for that? I spend more than that in one year on Carribean Seaweed Eyebrow nourisher. We’re ruined. (As he speaks the following lines he slowly folds in upon himself until he finishes on his knees, head bowed) My dream of proving to the world that I could take a team of expensively assembled misfits and by casting them aside at great cost and replacing them with a team costing hundreds and hundreds of millions I could somehow build this club a better football team is over. (With theatrical reflection) Little Arsenal in the champions league. Perhaps I dreamed too big.
Edu: (whispering and elbowing JK simultaneously) Tell him!
JK: (A little too loudly) No fucking way man, you tell him!
MA: (Rising up from the floor) Tell me what? Tell me what???
RG: If I may? Mikel, Mr Kroenke is nothing if not an astute businessman. He anticipated some months back that his new fiscal policy would cause you some…difficulty. He was also aware that the January transfer window would prove an unsettling time for you given your…fondness…for parting with his money. As such, some months back he took steps to find support for you during this period of policy transition.
MA: (a mixture of suspicion and anger in his voice) Support? What kind of support??
RG: (Remaining perfectly composed) Mr Kroenke thought it prudent for the club to seek the services of a man experienced in the area of financial conservatism…for the time being at least.
(With almost impeccable timing a knock is heard at the door which slowly opens, drawing the eyes of everyone present. Slowly, magnificently, the unmistakable figure of Arsene Wenger, resplendent in a long puffer Arsenal parka enters the room, a man whose very presence seemed to radiate command. He turned and smiled in his own inimitable manner, his lips never parting as he beamed his hellos. The reaction of those present varied from shock to outright elation. Hands immediately reached for zippers as a homage to this footballing God, but a raised grey eyebrow was enough to warn them against revealing their identity in this company. Arteta however, having been momentarily dumbstruck, began to struggle to verbalise his thoughts).
MA: What the ..who.. why? What is he doing here?
AW: Mikel, you must not look on me as a threat to your reign here. I have merely returned to offer you my support and what little wisdom I can to guide you through these difficult times. But I can assure you the reins of power are still firmly in your hands (as he speaks he ushers a cowering Josh Kroenke from his seat at the head of the table and seamlessly replaces him in the chair). I will be a mere shadow, only appearing when called upon.
MA: (Pointing at Wengers jacket where the word B.O.S.S has been sewn in large letters in the left corner.) What the hell is that then?
AW: (Points to jacket) This? Why, this is merely a reflection of my new role as Bestower of Special Services. Think nothing of it.
MA: (Unamused. Looks at the others in the room) And I suppose you all knew of this before me?
JK: (Speaking quickly, attempting to mitigate the damage) Only out of necessity Mikel. You were so busy with the team. And Arsene has already had some fantastic ideas which have helped us enormously.
MA: (Still annoyed) Already? What do you mean already?
AW: Mikel, we are on the same side you and I. The fans, they love you. We must not risk that.
MA: (Arteta, his ego stroked, responds more willingly) Well, what do you suggest?
AW: We must put our faith in FFP.
MA: (disconsolately) Financial Fair Play is a myth, a joke. Pep used to laugh at it all the time. It won’t help us.
AW: What is this financial fair play you speak of? I am referring to a plan I created almost twenty years ago…Feigning Financial Power.
MA: (Showing interest) How does it work?
AW: (Smiling as he recognises his influence growing) Oh, it’s quite simple really. We leak word to the press of our interest in all the top players, we even go so far as to bid outrageous sums of money for them.
MA: (Beginning to understand) So the fans will think we are dining at the top table?
AW: Of course. Ronaldo, Ibrahimovic, Benzema, Hazard, Mbappe. I have ‘courted’ them all.
MA: (slowly realising the truth) So it was you who gave the green light for the 90 million Mudryk package? But you never intended paying a penny did you?
AW: Of course not. I wouldn’t pay that for a small country.
MA: But what would you have done if the offer was accepted?
AW: (smiling) Simple. Insult the player with a ridiculously low wage offer.
MA: And if that doesn’t work?
AW: Then I make a call from line 3 in the manager’s office.
MA: (Confused) line 3?
AW: It’s bugged. Every word I say is heard by the top brass at Chelsea.
MA: (Scratching his head) Then why use it?
AW: Because I tell them what I WANT them to hear. (Chuckling) I’ve had great fun over the years. I rang David Dein one day begging him to buy Adrian Mutu, said he was going to replace Thierry (starts giggling at his own joke). Or the time I rang Gerry Peyton and told him to scout Kepa, said he was the next Casillas! (Lost in thought) Funny thing was Gerry agreed… I still don’t remember telling him about the ruse. (Shakes his head). Of course Alex was in on it too. They had his office bugged as well. We still laugh about the time he rang me ‘desperately’ trying to offload Juan Sebastian Veron before Chelsea came sniffing. (starts guffawing at the memory) He was in a Chelsea kit before the week was out!!
MA: So you orchestrated this entire Mudryk saga?
AW: (Steepling his fingers together and slowly peering over the top of them). But of course.
MA: And the fans believe we really tried to buy him but we’re gazumped by Chelsea or rejected by a greedy player?
AW: Precisely.
MA: But the fans? They’ll still want fresh blood.
AW: We then move to phase 2. Have you a crowd favourite who has been out injured for a while?
MA: (thinking) Well there is Smith Rowe.
AW: Wonderful. Reintroduce him at the end of some meaningless match. Announce his return as better than a new signing.
MA: The fans will buy that?
AW: (eyes glittering) Absolutely.
MA: Then what?
AW: Phase 3, Misdirection. Take the high ground. Start talking about ‘The Arsenal Way’. ‘We don’t buy superstars we make them’. That kind of nonsense. Just keep pointing at City and Chelsea for long enough that the fans forget that your team cost the same to assemble as a NASA space shuttle while your mistakes cost more than Jurgen Klopp’s dental bill. Let jealousy of our rivals be your ally.
MA: (delighted) This could really work!
AW: Believe it my friend. And then finally stage 4. The gift.
MA: The gift?
AW: Yes. Having destroyed the supporters levels of expectation you can then present them with literally any piece of shite and they will fall over themselves in gratitude. (Starts chuckling at the memory) I remember one year I has convinced the fanbase we couldn’t afford petrol for the lawnmower. When I presented them with 3 of the worst players I’ve ever signed the fans hailed me as a messiah! Santos, Park and (Suddenly realises what he’s about to say)… and… and it’s guaranteed to work.
MA: (Feels like he’s missed something but is unwilling to admit it) Ok then. I’m in. But I’m warning you, I won’t broker the slightest undermining of my authority.
JK: Absolutely Mikel. You are king of all you survey, no-one doubts that. Nothing will change. Nothing at all.
AW: (humbly) Mikel, you won’t even know I’m here.
(At this all rise and Arteta and Wenger move towards the door)
Edu: Goodbye boss.
MA and AW simultaneously: Goodbye.
[Satire] is a collection of brilliance from one of our readers Almuniasaynomore, who can be seen lurking in comments often. This section tries to have a laugh at expense of some.
If you feel offended, remember, they’re just jokes. We’re all gonna die soon and there’s no football in hell or heaven, so remember that.
Feedbacks are welcome in the comments!
bang up job Almuniasaynomore…I love me some sardonic humour, especially when it takes no prisoners…the crowning achievement was your Russian nesting doll-like Wenger reveal…regardless of one’s personal opinions about the matters at hand, one can’t help but appreciate the hilarity on offer…Cheers
I agree entirely about Smudger. Long ball, into-the-channel footie was de rigueur throughout his playing career. The guy’s unerring ability to control anything played up to him, and to keep it until reinforcements arrived on a bumpy, greasy pitch while the likes of Ronnie Whelan and Pallister were trying to break his ankles cannot be overestimated. Brave as well and a brilliant header of the ball. He was the best front man in the top flight in the late 80s and early 90s. Never stopped competing – he must have been a terrific teammate. Loved the guy.
I was really irked a few weeks ago when on LG some arriviste, know-nothing Arteta fan (possibly one of the US based ‘experts’ that idolises Ped) said he hated Smith because of his biased commentary or some such bollocks. This the guy who scored against Parma and Liverpool in 89 and is one of our purest former players.
Yup. Let’s order the matching nylon tracksuits and get our cvs typed up
Morning lads thanks for some memorable reading form your posts. The closer I get to 70 the more I forget of my almost 60 years as a Gooner. It all comes back from your words and memories of where I was at the time and what I was doing.
Game day at City many say is a dress rehearsal of what’s to come. I doubt a negative result is going to affect our title charge whatsoever. This game doesn’t worry me: potential injuries do.
If I were Mikel I’d put a mostly youth side out and tell them to show Mikel what they are made of. It’s a win, win because we lose and it’s more games for City and our youth will have been tested to their limits not wanting to let the club down. Mentally and emotionally a loss would be negligible. No one likes losing but this is a battle we can afford to lose to win the war.
The war in this case is the league title.
Of course this won’t happen; Mikel will no doubt play our best 11 citing our next game is 8 days away against the mighty Everton who are in disarray throughout the club. Injuries? Mikel will tell us we are looking at several players and have 4 days to finish our post Xmas shopping where we got a Jan sales bargain in Trossard and are back at the Brighton table again looking closely at Caicedo where transfermkt rates at Euro38m where…… I know you got it Mitoma is valued at Euro8.5m.
Why not get both? It would solve all our problems and would leave Arteta to make a ‘marque signing’ each year too keep up with the pack chasing to knock us off top spot.
£75m should get both if BHA play their usual games and are hurting from the Trossard deal. That could well play a part in the negotiations, but we can counter with White’s exorbitant price. Let’s hope Dezerbi has new players in mind to improve his already excellent style of football. The actual outcome away from my fantasy football hopes is we might get lucky to get Caicedo for around £70m.
Who knows? Certainly not me.
Last stupidoclock game for a while for us other-side -of-the-world Gooners. 3am K.O. I’ll see how I feel tonight as to whether I’ll watch it live.
I honestly have no idea how we are going to line up and who will be in the 16man squad. Ditto from City’s side. As much as we want the tile, Pep wants the elusive CL cup. Maybe we’ll both feature more youths than first team players for the 90+.
Although thinking about it wouldn’t it be great if this year was our cup and league double? Possible?
We’ll know Saturday morning here and an old man can dream, can’t he?
Be well and TGIF and the weekend is all but upon us. Enjoy whatever you’re up to.
Tony—unfortunately the Caicedo gig is looking a lot like the Mudryk and Vlahovic smokescreens…BHA don’t want to sell in January, so much so that they put a fairly ridiculous 100M evaluation on his head, and the player isn’t pushing for the switch, at least not publicly (visa vie social media)…why would BHA even consider such a move unless they were blown away by an offer, especially after their outright rejection of a 55M bid from Chelsea…of course, some will say that Garlick is our “secret” weapon due to his relationships with higher ups at Brighton, but that surely didn’t help when we paid above the number for White and Trossard, considering the latter’s mitigating circumstances…this looks like a wag the dog scenario where if we do make a move it’s for a far lesser light, for vastly less money, in the 11th hour…that said, I pray that I’m wrong
as for your comments about today’s affair, I agree with your sentiments…we both know that our best 11 will be rolled out there, as we know MA still can’t find a palatable plan B…the only changes I could see happening are maybe Trossard for Marts and possibly Tomi in the starting lineup…take care
Everton might be about to appoint Dyche. Desperate times.
No one watching tonight? We’re doing OK.
I just joined KP. Got work in morning but eh this is important.
We are doing Ok, Trossard is good.
You feeling better mate? Is Saturday working a normal thing for you?
I’d say we just had the better of that half.
Yeah, IT is competitive here, we get a day off when we want but things work 24×7 in other time zones.
Good half, I think we can get something out of this game unless Haaland decided to turn into Hulk.
word salad thoughts for the day
snoozefest, for large parts, but I wasn’t surprised as I always felt that this was going to be a tactical pissing contest…Trossard needs to be tucked inside a bit, as he’s not fast enough to replace Marts out wide…maybe Trossard would be better in Xhaka’s role with Marts on his wing or with Zinchenko, for overlapping run purposes…Tierney looks like he desperately needs playing time, I wouldn’t be shocked whatsoever if he was put in the shop window come the summer…Vieira seemingly has no real definable role until Saka was subbed off and he shifted out wider…the fact that they played keep away for the better part of the final 10 minutes is a bit disconcerting…definitely need someone to play behind Eddie, as he looked physically drained by the 75th minute…Holding was a disaster and Turner was a bag of toys with the ball at his feet early on, which led to a plethora of long balls…in games like these you need to have some cutting edge, like Vieira’s missed opportunity from distance, and we don’t have a lot of those types of players, last match notwithstanding
Just watched the highlights even though I had a full match version available. The line up suggested the type of match witnessed where TRVL summed up my thinking before kick off.
I said injuries worried me about last night’s game with Partey particularly in mind, now he’s off for MRI scan this morning.
Certainly makes the Caicedo interest more urgent where Brighton has the leverage now and will make up for the Trossard deal. If KSE wants the title then they need too pay the £80m and be done with it. Rice won’t be such a necessity in the summer.
Trossard didn’t disappoint and has staked a claim for a starting place.
Arteta will never learn with Xhaka. The City goal started where Xhaka should have been marshaling. Partey would have been in that position had he not gone off injured.
I should wait until Arteta actually wins the league before I give him any further credit. If Partey’s injury is a long one, that’s on Arteta, which if it costs us the league, is Arteta’s making also with his squad management.
Let’s hope Partey’s injury is just a niggle that can heal in 8 days.
I can suffer a loss in the FA cup considering our position but not more naive idiocy from Arteta.
Remind me again why we didn’t replace Xhaka last summer apart from him scoring a couple of fortuitous goals where another decent player would have had 6.
Arteta’s football management is like snakes and ladders where last night he dropped down an anaconda if Partey is out for any significant run of PL games and LG promoting Xhaka too being an Arsenal demi god!
3 days and counting until we know what kind of run in we’ll have with whatever squad we have available and a potential Groundhog Day.
Have a good weekend lads.
The big take from yesterday is (as if we didn’t already know) how our midfield collapses when Partey isn’t on the pitch. Trossard looks like a decent addition but we’ve got to stop spending money on players in other positions until that other CM is brought into the club,
The problem is of course that Arteta won’t do that because it’ll mean relegating Xhaka to the bench.
If Partey is going to miss any serious amount of time we’re in trouble – Everton (A) won’t be easy and they could well be playing with a new manager bounce, Brentford (H) are a capable team, City (H) speaks for itself, Villa (A) we know Emery will want to prove a point.
pleased to hear that Partey’s injury appears to be more minor than first thought, but it does raise some serious concerns about our Plan B should TP miss any time in the second half of the season…anyone with even one good eye can see that Lokonga doesn’t have it in him, at least not at this juncture
now our most recent acquisition from Spezia has played in the DM position before, but MA’s doesn’t appear to be a fan of moving backline defenders into more advanced positions, as we’ve seen with Luiz, Chambers and White…although I’m not a proponent persay of these types of selection maneuverings, I must admit that I find it a tad peculiar that MA has adopted such an unwavering stance in this regards, especially considering his propensity for shoehorning players into just about every other position on the pitch
regardless, we undoubtedly need to make a significant move or two before this window closes, especially if we have no intention of looking this gift horse in the mouth…with this in mind, we can’t pull another Trossard when it comes to shoring up our midfield…this is by no means a slag directed towards Trossard, as he’s a skillful player, but let’s face it he wasn’t a logical replacement for our Mudryk aspirations, at least not from a profile standpoint, as it’s glaringly obvious that if Trossard hadn’t had a falling out with his coach, he wouldn’t be on our “longlist”, let alone our shortlist
so with all the talk of Caicedo and Rice, we can’t end up signing some lesser light player(s), simply to say we did something…whomever we bring in must be readymade and must be able to play in both the Partey and Xhaka roles or this and the Trossard deals might become significant financial stumbling blocks come the summer window…as such, we must act in a decisive manner so as to both properly redress our squad deficiencies and to send a clear message to the rest of the League that we’re in it to win it…Cheers
When we talk football to our sons, daughters in their early evolution of the sport, cups are a good topic of where all forms of logic goes out of the window replaced by passion, hope and belief that their/our club has its name written on the cup.
All of these emotions are summed up by usurped by minnows or taking a PL scalp or simply giant killing. In decades gone by there was a mystery about the FA Cup, where an illogical Div 3 club beating Spuds on a furrowed, cut-up pitch with small sheds either side of the pitch, serving as stands was a normal victory wrapped up in cup magic way back when.
Rain lashing down increasing the chance of a sliding tackle lasting over 25 yards clearing any player during its journey; often from both teams.
Such was the magic in those days that the country (UK) came to a standstill from 3pm until possibly 5:30 if extra time. It was like the country had observed the 3-minute rule for nuclear attack. Shops had radios and small TVs and groups would gather at Electric shops and department store windows living in hope watching the soundless game.
That was perhaps 1990 and before. The all consuming magic seemed to drain out of the cups in the 90s and 00s onwards.
Of our 14 FA cup wins the only one that really sticks fondly in the memory the most was the 1971 final where Charlie George scored the winner against the Bin Dippers in extra time if memory serves me right. It had the same electric magic as Thomas’s goal to win the league in 89, at Anfield.
I’n not going to speak for others or Junior. The magical mystery of the FA cup was lost on me in the 90s. Sure, I still enjoyed our wins under Wenger and even Arteta. They just lacked that je ne sais pas I couldn’t put my finger on. The daily TV coverage was diluted eventually by social media if I were to hazard a guess. Pre Internet days TV, radio and newspapers were our only sources for game information.
I was never going to get Junior to understand what the magic felt like or so I thought, and until we watched the Fulham v Sunderland game last night. Watching Junior leaping about our huge sofa The Rock would look like Ronnie Corbett on from the end to end, hearts in our throats football.
If I had had the energy I would have joined him because the game was just like FA cup football of decades past; thrilling until the final whistle.
I was chuffed because junior now knows the magic of cup football which in turn has woken it up again in this 68 year old.
Mitoma 4 from 6 games and scoring the winner to send the Bin dippers out of the FA cup. Classy finish with tight control in a tight space and sending Gomez the wrong way to bury the ball in the back of the net
Tmkt say he’s worth 8.5 Euros and can play across the front line.
White paper on all Clubs acquisitions. It appears buyer and seller tend to be comfortable one to one
https://www.football365.com/news/premier-league-clubs-transfer-flow-arsenal-brighton-caicedo-liverpool
On the Caicedo deal why not throw in Lakonga free loan with wages paid and option to buy and £78m?
Better to help Brighton with their Euro place push while taking Caicedo from them. Lakonga might play better under De Zervi than Xhaka.
when it comes to transfer windows, under the tutelage of Arteta and Edu, we’re a bit of a messy bitch…if there’s any truth to the Jorginho rumours our supposed “defintive” organizational plans are all over the proverbial map…first we get punked by Chelsea, after investing months on this particular acquisition, then we get in on a layup deal, involving Trossard, who wouldn’t have been on even the longest of wishlists if it weren’t for the fact that he fell out with his club and we tripped over our dicks with Mudryk, and now we’re doing some 11th hour desperation shopping
now if we’re simply feigning interest in Jorginho so as to force BHA’s hand, I’m mostly on board, in that at least Caicedo fits our youth-oriented narrative and provides some much-needed depth in a position of need, but if the diminutive 31 year old Italian is our legit Plan B, then I’m more than a little concerned…of course, if we pay next to nothing for someone who’s on an expiring contract and isn’t demanding term and/or assurances, then I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed…if that’s not the case, it appears, at least on the surface, that our transfer strategies are eerily similar to our tactical ones, in that we seem wholly incapable of devising a commonsensical Plan B
fact remains, Mudryk was never going to redress our obvious midfield deficiencies, so why weren’t we laying the groundwork for a midfield move this TW at the same time as we were attempting to secure Mudryk’s services…it’s like we can’t do two things at once…all I know is that it seems to take us vastly longer than other sizeable clubs to get our business done and dusted…talk about giving all the leverage to your potential transfer partner…no wonder BHA scoffed at our 70M offer for a player they purchased for 4, as they’ve got us by the short and curlies and we both know it…it’s important to remember that, regardless of their present table aspirations, they’re a selling club
so maybe it’s time to change our transferring MO…either we revamp our scouting system and buy low, like BHAs of the footballing world, or we stop this whole nickel & dime bullshit dance, which usually ends up costing us considerably more in the end…as of right now, only one player purchased by our present managerial team has a notably higher resale value than their original purchase price and that’s Ode…so whatever their doing isn’t working, regardless of our recent on-field success
here’s hoping that we pull a rabbit out of our proverbial transfer hat and that this TW doesn’t turn into another Kallstrom-like shit show
like the BHAs
TRVL that sums up my thinking over the last 48 hours. Would Jorginho be our next Willian?
TWs are always emotionally stressful for supporters in general; however, for Gooners under Arteta we just have to hope because we can’t do anything to influence any club TW decision. In sum, we have to live with it whether good, bad or indifferent. The consequences that follow such inconsistent TWs? 8th, 8th & 5th are on record, but never learnt from.
We are now in the same position as last January being turned down by clubs and players and now chaos is reigning over our TW plan.
Still, the TW clock is still ticking, so we’ll see tomorrow what our future starting 11 looks like then.
Will it be Patino and Bolagun call back from loans? Azeez maybe?
All hopes on avoiding injuries. Except Dyche will know who to rotational foul first: Partey. I mean let’s face it, Dyche is only one step up from Pulis. Remember Shawecross?
https://youtu.be/Fi5JEvk_jrs Jorginho the 2nd coming of Xhaka or possibly slower.
LG understandably deflated where Marko summed it up perfectly.
Arteta’s gamble is now in play, so let’s see how the rest of the season pans out.
Starting Saturday at Everton where if all fit and healthy we should nail 3 points.
Marquinhos off to Norfolk. Probably a sensible move. Having watched a lot of championship football, I think he’ll be a revelation. Plus, I’m planning to see Cardiff there at the end of Feb (500-600 mile round trip go must be mad) so I hope he’s playing.
Jorginho sounds a like a mad idea. What the actual fuck?
Tony
That was a good take to use Lokonga as a makeweight to get Caicedo . Incidentally , it looks like Lokonga is wanted by Vieira at Crystal Palace. If this loan materialises , might see how Lokonga looks like with self confidence. Also , if the owners promote this might give an inkling of Arsenal future. After winning the League , Arteta will surely get offers he can’t refuse to a Club having cojones to do the right thing if necessary.
Meantime AFC will be having a most balanced set of first team, only problem being to beef up the bench.
On the point of Partey replacement , we can see his attributes , mainly fast ball transmission forward with physicality normally required in the midfield. So how difficult is it to locate available players with those attributes so the optimised play stays intact ?
Jorginho will need tweaking , plus he is no longer his earlier self. The Liverpool Brazilian was a better fit
Arteta reportedly wants Rice and Caicedo besides the incoming Jorginho. Guess he can only estimate the horse looking at his price, not by looking it in the mouth
Our boy Saka, bless him
https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/arsenal-bukayo-saka-ballon-dor-29094498
Hoopah
Arteta thinks he’s the reincarnation of Pep, but The Arsenal isn’t the reincarnation of City financially.
Sounds like 1.5 seasons (18 month) contract. Who knows Jorginho might just have a point to prove to The Chavs.
I think Paddy will get Lakonga firing and will get more patience from Vieira than Arteta. At least we’ll know from his lan what to do next with him: sell or keep.
Time will tell.
holy transfer window time machine Batman…only our club could package this underwhelming window as a revelatory one…we might have the oldest midfield in Europe, should Partey be unavailable…very disappointing considering the supposed organizational blueprint was predicated on getting younger, faster and stronger…not suggesting whatsoever that Jorginho is a scrub, or Trossard for that matter, but one of the main reasons why Chelsea has struggled so mightily is their midfield’s inability to set the table and/or transition with pace…the fact that we gave him another year beyond this one, plus an option, is just the cherry on this shit sundae…maybe this was meant as an homage to our former manager, who must be over the moon by the notion that MA trolled us with champagne wishes and caviar dreams, then when it came time to deliver the goods, it was sour milk and sardines…thank goodness we’re protecting a lead in the standings and not chasing it
For fuck sake anyone with half a brain can see we desperately need another CM similar to Partey and what does fuckwit do – buy’s a 31 year old Xhaka clone.
not to sound too pessimistic, as Jorginho is clearly an upgrade on Lokonga and Trossard can surely contribute in the final third, but both of these moves provides us with no assurances, from a title race perspective, and they will undoubtedly become stumbling blocks when it comes to our off-season transfer plans…makes me think that all the other chatter was nothing more than the usual Arsenal “wag the dog” transfer nonsense…after all even the most amateur hour of management teams could have acquired the castaway Trossard or the contract expiring Jorginho…just saying