An exclusive 5 star London Hotel. The great and the powerful of Arsenal Football Club have assembled for the annual end of season awards night. In a fitting end to their documentary style coverage of the season, the Amazon cameras were there to cover the event live with the beautiful Catherine Whitaker acting as MC for the evening. Wearing a dazzling sequined black dress she radiates professionalism combined with personal charm.
As the camera assumes her perspective and pans slowly from one side of the room to the other we are dazzled by the style and fashion of the Arsenal players, coaching staff, officials and their respective partners. In Oscar-like fashion the glitz and the glamour are eye catching, yet in a tragic and somewhat embarrassing breakdown in communication, the top table, containing the Brotherhood of Arsenal’s Sincere Trusted And Really Dedicated Servants (B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S) have all forgone the opportunity to dress formally and are instead wearing white t-shirts. This propaganda stunt has the hallmarks of being planned weeks ago as printed on each t-shirt in large letters were the words’ ARSENAL: MOVING FOURWARD’. A clearly annoyed Mikel Arteta is whispering furiously to his director of football Edu.
MA: Cunts! We look like stupid fucking cunts! Bad enough we are the only idiots with these things on us but now we look like premature wankers!
Edu: (consolingly) It’s not that bad boss, we’ve gone from 8th to 5th, that’s serious progress. I think the shirts capture that.
MA: They spell forward wrong deliberately you illiterate peasant! It’s a pun on our success in qualifying for the Champions league.
Edu: (confused) But we didn’t qualify for the champions league boss.
MA: (Spittle now beginning to mingle with his ‘whispering’) Do you think I don’t know that you Brazilian beach bum? Why do you think it’s so fucking embarrassing? It’s like we’re actually taking the piss out of ourselves! Who the fuck came up with this anyway?
Edu: No-one knows boss, they arrived first class from FIFA headquarters but we don’t have anyone in the club working there. Josh was thrilled with them and insisted we wear them. (A suspicious look appears on Arteta’s face as he considers these words. Just at that moment the lights dim and a single spotlight focuses all eyes on the beautiful hostess).
CW: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the Arsenal football club end of season awards. It is my great pleasure to be here and bring a fitting conclusion to a fascinating year in which we at Amazon have followed the progress of this wonderful club both on and off the field. I am honoured to have been asked to help present these awards this evening as we capture the golden moments of the season that was.
(Arsenal assistant manager Steve Round is immediately impressed)
SR: Fuck me, she even kept a straight face, what a pro.
CW: Before we begin, I would like to call upon your beloved chairman Mr Josh Kroenke to say a few words. (Muted applause as Josh walks to the podium in an incongruous ensemble of shoes, pants, white t-shirt and baseball cap).
JK: Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to stand here before y’all on this wonderful occasion. I know we’ve a busy night ahead of us so I won’t delay y’all for long. (Speaks in hushed tones) I just wanted to say that when Mikel and his team first arrived at the Emirates and began their revolution of our club we could see immediately the huge difference that they would make. We had just missed out on champions league football by a point and though our heads were down, our spirits remained unbroken. (Raises his voice and points his index finger at MA) But I could see in Mikel a passion and a vision to turn things around and to return this footballing giant back to where it belongs. There were those who doubted he could do it. Those who said it was beyond him. But not me! (Shouts) I was excited! (Points at the audience) I told you to be excited!! (Roars) And now…here…today…we can finally celebrate the culmination of those dreams. Yes it took 3 years and hundreds of millions of pounds but look at us now. (Raises his two arms in the air and screams) LOOK AT US NOW!!!.
(Absolute silence as Jk’s climactic oral orgy ends)
SR: (to Edu) Do you want to tell him?
Edu: (shaking his head hopelessly) Nope.
JK: By the way folks, the bar tab is on me tonight. (These words are followed by an explosion of joy. Kieran Tierney was seen sprinting unhindered to the bar with Thomas Partey in close pursuit. Lacazette was spotted ordering 3 bottles of Dom Perignon and with a lady either side of him it looked like even he might score. Granit Xhaka who had been about to pay the barman for hid drink instead flicked his middle finger at him, picked up his drinks and walked defiantly away. Only Aaron Ramsdale failed to take full advantage of the situation, having dropped his drinks on the way back to the table. Meanwhile Catherine was restoring order).
CW: And now if I could ask Mikel Arteta to come up for the presentation of our awards. (Arteta sullenly approaches the stage trying to contort himself in such a way that the writing on the t-shirt is hidden) Mikel, would you like to say a few words? (Arteta takes the microphone).
MA: (Tries for a smouldering, philosophical look, but fails. Looks like a constipated action man being controlled by a ventriloquist). When the season began we had a lemon. I squeezed it for the juice. But I squeezed it too hard. Now we have bitterness. Thank you.
CW: (Confused but persists) Thank you Mikel. We will now present our first award of the night. This season’s top goalscorer whose lethal conversion rate has helped his club to a champions league place, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the one and only….Pierre Emerick Aubameyang. (A beaming PEA approaches the stage in his Barcelona shirt as a snarling Arteta is forced to present the award).
Our next award, young player of the season goes, not surprisingly to a man who has already been declared the finest young player in his country, congratulations……William Saliba (Saliba climbs onstage in his Marseille shirt).
MA: (Angrily) Who the fuck are you?
WS: William…William Saliba.
MA:Yeah, sorry, means nothing to me. Next!
CW: Okay…Time for this year’s goalkeeper of the year award. Now originally the winner of this award was Aaron Ramsdale from the first half of the season. But as no-one has seen him since Christmas we have asked Aaron Ramsdale post Christmas to collect his award (Muted applause as Ramsdale appears on stage wearing his Sheffield Utd shirt and receives his prize) Now in a similar theme our next category is save of the season and this year’s winner is…Josh Kroenke! (A delighted Josh runs up to grab his trophy and parade around the stage like a 1966 Bobby Moore. Throughout his theatrics Catherine gives the audience a running commentary). This year Josh has saved his Dad a fortune by convincing Arsenal that they could let all their players go and not replace them resulting in a huge reduction in the wage bill and no need for any expenditure as other top 4 rivals strengthen in the January transfer window. And put your hands together for his assist king…..Edu! (Edu runs up and collects his award from an infuriated Arteta who has developed a series of stress related twitches which are causing his arms to point in random directions. This is causing chaos in the audience as many of the players, clearly conditioned to react to such gestures, are running pointlessly from side to side in an effort to placate their manager).
Now for our next award and this year we have a real cracker for you. Our goal of the year came at a time when despite failing to make any progress in the cups, overseeing the great giveaway of many once valuable players and indeed failing to strengthen the squad thereby ultimately jettisoning a top 4 finish, manager Mikel Arteta went to America and secured his goal of a new 3 year contract!! (Camera focuses on Arteta as Catherine presents the goal of the season trophy to him. He cannot disguise his pride and as he lifts it in the air with both hands their is audible relief in the audience as the players can resume their seats).
Our penultimate award tonight is to recognise the player that puts in the work on the training ground. The type of player who stays behind for extra practice when all the rest have gone. Yes it’s our “last to leave” award and this year we simply couldn’t separate them. So ladies and gentlemen put your hands together for Granit Xhaka and Mo Elneny, both of whom will be in Arsenal’s engine room long after the rest of us have stopped trying to fathom why. (Applause, loud at first but slowly dies down to a whimper as it takes so long for them to get to the stage and back again)
And finally, the one we’ve all been waiting for, Arsenal’s P.O.T.Y, Propaganda Of The Year. Now this year there have been some incredible manipulations of the truth to pick from but we have whittled it down to three. In third place came the assertion that because the club is moving in a chaotic, rudderless and leaderless direction we should start again and call this season one for no other reason than the previous season’s were humiliating and no-one wants to take the blame. A sprinkling of words such as Covid and deadwood has taken this little gem into 3rd place (A large round of applause). In second place this year was the idea that failing to qualify for the Europa last year was actually a clever ploy orchestrated by our manager. The key to this particular piece of spin was that by not being in the Europa league the club would have less games this year and therefore have a huge advantage in their quest…..to qualify for the Europa league. (More warm applause from the audience)
However, this year’s winner and our P.O.T.Y is our ‘Project Youth’ and here to accept the award and explain his vision is our very own Director Of Fantasy, Edu!! (Tumultuous applause as Edu proudly steps forward. The lights dim and silence settles on the room as Edu takes his captive audience back in time).
Edu: (In deep hushed tones) When I was a little boy in Brazil, my Moma she raised me to be a good Catholic, devout, faithful. And every Lent she would say to me ‘Edu, what will you sacrifice for our Lord this year?’ And every year I let her down. No matter what I chose to give up I always relented. 40 days is a long time, no? (The audience react sympathetically). But then one year Moma didn’t ask me what I was going to sacrifice until Lent was almost over. I thought hard and realised I hadn’t eaten cauliflower in weeks and so I chose that. And even though I was overcome with an unnatural desire for cauliflower in the days that followed I made it to the end of Lent for the first time in my life. And that’s when I discovered it, post planning. So when myself and Mikel were asked what the fuck we were trying to build after all the random purchases of last summer we sat down and had a think. I realised that all of our purchases happened to be under 25 as no-one in their prime would touch us with a fucking barge pole. And it hit me, we had ‘project youth’ on our hands. Once Mikel told Willian to fuck off and withdrew Mustafi’s contract offer we were on a winner. People swallowed it by the bucket load. Some even forgot we had just paid 80 million for Ben White and Aaron Ramsdale as if their youth was proof they’d become world class or something!!
CW: Well it certainly was a brilliant initiative and worthy of this wonderful award (she presents him with a large framed and signed picture of Xhaka telling the fans to fuck off).
Well that’s it for another incredible season ladies and gentlemen. It only remains for me to thank everyone here tonight for their contributions and Arsenal Football Club for allowing us such access to the club, (the camera begins to move closer until all that can be seen on screen is Catherine’s elegant figure) but above all I would like to remind Arsenal fans that for all their disappointments, hope is never too far away (she begins to fiddle unsuccessfully with a zipper on the side of her skirt and briefly, very briefly, smiles at the camera).
[Satire] is a collection of brilliance from one of our readers Almuniasaynomore, who can be seen lurking in comments often. If you are a gooner by heart, is saddened by the current state of Arsenal Football Club, this section tries to have a laugh at expense of some.
If you feel offended, remember, they’re just jokes. We’re all gonna die soon and there’s no football in hell or heaven, so remember that.
Feedbacks are welcome in the comments!
Almunia,man,this is epic. Who needs football? Please don’t stop over the close season,I’m relying on your humour to keep me going.
Almunia, please don’t monetize this talent you got to make one smile when that which one loves dearly is being destroyed by the B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S.
Almunia
Nice one – yet again. That little tableau of the players’ reactions to the news that the booze was free was particularly enjoyable.
Here’s a portmanteau to describe my feelings about club. Slumpathy – I simply cannot get out of this crushing pessimism about how fucking awful Arsenal has become under the Kroenkes and Arteta. They really are suited to each other.
I secured my ticket for the Wales WC eliminator (which I keenly hope will be against Scotland – if it is I’ll be roaming in the gloaming with the Ta an Army on match day). A Sunday afternoon lager-ing my way around Cardiff will be a tonic.
OK, your piece got me thinking. What about an awards ceremony on LiR for the season?
Best men’s player
Best women’s player
Most promising young player
Best member of AFC football staff
Best goal and game
Best source for Arsenal opinion
And then….
Biggest flop
Worst result
Arteta’s biggest error (I know it should be a top 10 but I’m being kind to the little man)
Least favourite blog
And add any new categories you see fit. Let’s get everyone to have a crack at this, including the busy ones who sometimes just read articles. It’ll be like catharsis – at least that’s what I’m hoping for. I’m going to put mine on later.
OK. I’ll get the ball rolling.
Best men’s player SMITH ROWE – He got us moving after that disastrous start and was associated with all of the good things about us when we were winning. Fuck knows why he barely featured as the season wore on and the results started dipping again.
Best women’s player BETH MEAD – Didn’t see all the WSL games but she scored a shed load of goals from out wide.
Most promising young player – A constellation of brilliant kids, but I remember checking this kid out on YouTube ages ago. It has to be OMARI HUTCHINSON
Best member of AFC football STAFF – It’s a manager…… Wait for it….. JONAS EIDEVALL. When I saw him and little Tets signing their contracts together, I said an atheist prayer hoping that they’d somehow swapped over roles (sorry WSL fans!)
Best goal and game – Best goal ODEGAARD’S FREE KICK V BURNLEY. Should have been the harbinger of more fk goals but ah well. Best game – Ordinarily would be Spurs at home but I’m going for WOLVES AT HOME and the rarest of things these days, a come-from-behind win.
Best source for Arsenal opinion
LONDON IS RED. 😊Laughs, honesty and Arsenal supporters, not Arteta sycophants. Followed by AFTV. I love Robbie and especially Lee and Kelechi.
And then….
Biggest flop BEN WHITE. 50 FUCKING MILLION QUID. We got the wrong player from Brighton. It should have been Bissouma. Honourable mention for the winner for the last 5 or 6 years, Granit fuck you Xhaka.
Worst result SPURS AWAY. 13 DEFEATS AND THAT WAS THE WORST.
Arteta’s biggest error (I know it should be a top 10 but I’m being kind to the little man)
13 DEFEATS (IS THERE AN ECHO IN HERE?) BUT JUST SHADED BY JANUARY WINDOW TRANSFER PARSIMONY
Least favourite blog
12 MONTHS AGO IT WAS UNSOLD ANUSOL, BUT PEDRO AND HIS SHIP OF FOOLS HAVE SUNK LE GROVE
All those capital letters. I’ll have to have a lie down now.
Kroenkephobe,
Well man,you’ve been busy. That’s a lot of categories. I’d say Saka was our best player but ESR is my fav. He is being poorly utilised I hope it’s not something that sees him go. WSL and youth teams,I’d just be guessing so I’ll abstain.
AFC staff is a good one,I’d imagine one day Per is going to emerge from this period with a lot of credit so I’ll go for him. Sid would agree!
Spurs home for best game. Xhaka for best goal!!
Pepe remains our greatest current flop with Spurs away the most appalling performance. Arteta’s biggest mistake remains the ditching of Saliba,50 mill on White,ignoring midfield ,cycle of stupidity. That’s too much for now,it’s not a season I want to dwell on.
Next time we should do proper nostalgia, memories that don’t hurt!
“Arteta’s biggest error ”
Well I reckon we can add Nketiah’s new contract to that ridiculously long list. That’s not an attack on Nketiah but if we wouldn’t give him £90k per week 6 or 12 months ago why is he suddenly worth £100k now? If he’s a genuine £100k per week striker why wasn’t he given games earlier when Laca was providing no goal threat? When you look at the fine margins that missing out on 4th involved and the number of matches that we lost against weak opposition then a couple of extra goals would have been worth north of £60 million.
It’s either a case of Arteta doing his usual fucking up for a period, tripping over something that seems to work for a couple of games going with that as first choice and then it reverts to fucking up or just simple blind panic.
It is strange that no one seems to be pointing out some of the most obvious red flags with the Nketiah deal.
*If he is worth 100k pw why wasn’t he played last year? ( laca getting covid was the only reason for his reappearance)
*Why was his contract allowed to run down if he was a part of our future plan?
* How can you sell ‘project youth’ with an out of form laca keeping him out?
*If Eddie is worth 100k what will we have to offer saka,Esr,gabi etc?
*What will we have to offer established proven players to attract them once they see Eddie’s deal?
*Is this not a return to Wenger’s culture where we will create a ridiculous ‘socialist’ pay structure?
*If Eddie flops how do we move him on? No-one is offering him 100k pw if he doesn’t produce immediately,he is 23 years old now.
*If this is a sign of the ‘planning’ where is the long term vision and consistency?
*Are Arteta and Edu after working out that they aren’t going to be allowed to buy an entire new team while failing miserably to generate funds in outgoings?
*Just how amateur is the ‘management’ of our club?
Almunia
It’s a cunning plan – if they keep signing up players not good enough the “cunts” (I’ll come up with an acronym when I think of it) / “fanboys” will forever keep trotting out the “he had to shift some deadwood excuse.
Marc,
Had a few failed attempts at that one myself! I can’t even get into the normal close season optimism that maybe, even by accident, they might sign a player to excite us. Renewing Eddie and Elneny tells me Edu will be presenting us with magic beans soon. The sickening part will be the attempts to spin it as progress,it’s insulting and worse it’s crushing the life out of our club. Cue the sale of one of our star hale enders under the guise of ‘one step backwards’……….
Would be a nice end to the season for Liverpool to lose!! No real grá for real but if they win it I’ll have forgotten about it by this time next week. If pool win it…. Still if I’m betting on it I think scousers 3-1.
Almunia
Elneny is solid back up – nothing amazing but neither was Grimandi back in the day. Look at the number of pretty poor players who did a job for Fergie and have multiple PL medals?
The problem isn’t renewing Elneny it’s how he was ostracised for 90% of the season and now he’s worth keeping.
Make your fucking mind up Arteta.
Kick off delayed by 15 minutes because of “trouble” outside the stadium.
Why does this only ever happen when it’s Scousers involved? They are worse than vermin when will the press call them out for what they are?
I just hope the Madrid fans are OK.
Marc,
I’ve no bother with Elneny as back up. My problem is the fact that his contract was up,hence the new one is not part of a plan, they’re making it up as they go along. Same with Nketiah.
It’s madness that people without tickets have got so close to the stadium. Even cock fights in rural Ireland are organised better. But the same happened at Wembley during the Euros. The mayor of Liverpool has just tweeted that there is chaos outside, total breakdown of law and order. There’s children there for God’s sake.
Almunia
It’s always the Scousers and a small number of England supporters – if people stopped making excuses it would at least start the process of stopping it.
Almunia
Agree on no plan – I’ve never seen such complete incompetence passed of as genius or “sauce” as a major dickhead spends much of his time proclaiming.
Come on Madrid!!!
I remember AC Milan sauntering to a 4 or 5 goal win in a final once. Was it against pre Messi Barca? But aside from that this is as one sided as I can recall.
I fear for the people of Paris and the Madrid fans.
The French Police must show brutality and shoot on sight.
Hiya lads,
Justice has been done, although RM are an equally repugnant shower of gobshites in my view. Hope you’re both well. Sounds like the organisation was another major shitshow. Didn’t watch any of it but hope to tune in later and see some crying bin dippers.
Kroenkephobe,
Are we doomed to have schadenfreude as our sole pleasure in football? I thought I’d get up today happier in the knowledge that pool didn’t win but I can’t shift the sense that Arsenal are a sinking ship and the morons on board are partying away. Depressing.
Almunia
The reason you have that feeling is because you look at the team and management and it’s clear that something is wrong but not only are people ignoring it they’re telling you nothings wrong and you’re too stupid to see that Arteta’s doing an amazing job. I can’t be bothered to go through all the examples and you know most of them but a couple:
Finishing 5th is an improvement on 8th but no one asks who the fuck finished in 8th in the first place.
We said finishing outside of Europe last season was a sackable offence – we were told we were wrong it’s a blessing because we’d have a clear run at top 4 with no distractions, now CL was never a target and you’re being unreasonable to even suggest it.
What I can’t make figure out is do we have a lot of sheep following a group of very vocal nutjobs or is the majority of our fanbase that deluded?
Marc,
That last question has me stumped also. The ferocity of Arteta’s defenders combined with pretty low intellect regarding some of their ‘arguments’ is difficult to oppose. Logic doesn’t apply. There is a saying,think it’s Mark Twain, ” You should never argue with fools.They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience”. This type of ‘fan’ who thinks blind loyalty is the true barometer of devotion has been plaguing the club recently. Don’t wish to stereotype but is this a millennial thing or where has it come from?
Almunia
Yes, it’s like a laughing, sneering hierarchy isn’t it. Liverpool and Citeh laugh at us, we laugh at Everton, Villa and Wolves etc. and they laugh at Norwich, Watford and so on. We’re suffering the double whammy of a useless manager who’s backed by equally hopeless owners. Ironically (paradoxically?) , if we were a bit more shit, we’d have been bought by an oil kleptocrat by now and would be looking upwards, at least in performance terms. As it is, we’re stuck in a land of nod.
Are Co. Mayo still hanging in there?
Almunia,
I have no idea – it’s not a millennial thing because I know a handful of fans who are 50 plus who are in the “he’s doing OK / a good job” camp.
I do not understand it – a good quote is from Men in Black believe it or not Wil Smiths character is talking to Tommy Lee Jones’s character and says “why not tell people they could handle it” the response “A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.”
The world is full of sheep.
Hi Marc
My suggested answer to the question that you pose is that generally speaking, our fanbase is more small c and big C Conservative than the vast majority of other teams in England. Our board is cautious, stuck in the past and perfectly happy to place their own positions of authority higher than the greater good. Emiratestroller from the blog of doom and poor old england’sbest for me exemplify the typical older Arsenal fan – keen to preserve the status quo because they want to feel like a part of the establishment. Social climbers in other words. Some of the more working class fans are the type of people who would metaphorically doff their caps to Arteta because he is the boss and that’s all that matters. Any other club.’s fanbase would me much more inclined to critically scrutinise poor performance and demand change. Remember how difficult it was to mobilise fans at the fag end of Wengo?
Almunia
The club is becoming increasingly difficult to like and I’ve been following them for fifty plus years. The owners shit on the fans and take their loyalty for granted. And we’re not just laughed at by other clubs; I think we’re as disliked now as we were when we were winning things (normally, I think its usual for antipathy to diminish when a club ceases to be a contender).
Arteta is an odious wanker and the Kroenkes don’t give a fuck. It’s pretty difficult for a sane person to get behind them.
I like the MT quote. Very apt.
Kroenke,
I don’t disagree with you but Wenger carried a huge amount of goodwill so I could at least understand the loyalty. What’s Arteta done? Fluked an FA Cup which is completely wiped out by the sheer number of piss poor decisions, fuck ups, shit results and football that’s really bad to watch.
Newcastle will be pushing for a EL place next season, ManU will be better and will challenge for top 4, the Spud’s will be better as well and you have to assume that Chelsea’s new owners will want to get the fans on side. Right now 6th looks as good as it will get – I can’t wait to be told why that’s improvement etc!
Kroenkephobe,
There’s definitely something Conservative at the heart of our club and it’s fanbase. The willingness to accept the banal is infuriating. Every year of declaring Arteta a success just further ingrained this mentality into the club. I’m so pessimistic right now I can see nothing to offer hope. Those hale enders who provided the light last summer are either regressing,standing still or preparing to leave. How the hell are people enthused by this???
Mayo hanging in,do or die next weekend. At least when they go down they go down in flames!
I had a mate last week, hammers fan, texted me during the NLD out of the blue and said,Christ that Arteta is one horrible cunt isn’t he? Like,how the fuck can he see it and our own fans can’t?
Mark,
The sheep thing is what made me suspicious of the younger people. It wasn’t like this before and also they are more susceptibility to the thought control of social media. But on reflection I think ,like you said,that many older fans are also being swept along on this wave of propaganda so I’m inclined to go with Kroenkephobe’s theory. As a club we attract naturally Conservative people,it explains a lot.
This is a theory Marc touched on recently and although I’ve never seen any proof, I would not be surprised if it had an element of truth, ie that Arsenal may be shite on the pitch, but they do a brilliant job of controlling opinion via stooges like Attwood, Pedro and all those other apologists. Basically, we’re all being had by PR men and spin doctors.
To change the mood a little, and to irreverently remember that old tax evader Lester Piggott, here’s a wee joke at the end of the weekend.
Q:Who is the only 20 stone man to have ridden a 4 time Epsom Derby winner?
A:Lester Piggott’s cellmate.
I’ll get my coat.
Have a good week lads!
Kroenke
When I made the comment about Pedro etc being paid to talk utter bullshit it was tongue in cheek – the problem is they push such bullshit it’s difficult to see a reason they’d do it unless they’re being paid!
Marc
I also doubt that hard cash is being exchanged. For me it’s about favours. Throwing them the odd bit of stilted, biased bullshit in the hope that it gets disseminated amongst the gullible. If I was Gonnella, I’d see that as a perfectly viable strategy if it meant keeping an already docile fanbase fully tranquilised and acquiescent. Pedro and Attwood have gone full ‘poacher turned gamekeeper’.
Kroenkephobe
“ I would not be surprised if it had an element of truth, ie that Arsenal may be shite on the pitch, but they do a brilliant job of controlling opinion via stooges like Attwood, Pedro and all those other apologists. Basically, we’re all being had by PR men and spin doctors.“
Had said as much quite bluntly on that Bog ( pun intended) a few times . This is exactly how the ruling party been winning in India . There is a managed opinion which is relentlessly drilled particularly on grove . The average Joe of limited intelligence takes it as gospel truth.
You are absolutely right
AFC with their lazy owners and a geriatric Board who are only intent to stick to lucrative positions, have yielded absolute power to the Manager. There are unquestioned finances to spend on influencers. This situation is from Wenger. Emery was not fluent to bullshit and joist into those positions.
Hi Hoopah
Good analysis – ‘managed opinion’ as you so brilliantly put it is ubiquitous in the media now, so why would Arsenal be immune. It’s a thoroughly crap state of affairs, and pretty sinister to get your head around if you’re an old bastard like me who’s used to at least a modicum of pluralism. Le Grove is shot, frankly. For India, read the UK too in terms of media control and bias not least at the BBC which has fucked itself.
Kroenke
Seriously mate don’t get me started on the media over here.
Hoopah
You’re dead right about the club putting too much power into the hands of the manager and that’s not about Arteta it’s about any manager. It’s another example of Pedro being completely full of shit. What happened to Pedro pushing the “modern setup” where a manager fits into a structure so you can change manager without the club needing a complete rebuild? He was on that for years now you’ve got a Tech Dir who’s subservient to the manager when the manager is supposed to answer to him.
We are so fucked as a club the Spud’s are now better run than us.
Almunia a legend as always!
Hi China (and Killroy, and TRVL if you’re a reader).
I’m very much enjoying your collective efforts to kick against the pricks (as it were) on LG. A bit like shooting fish in a barrel but you all do it with good grace, style and compelling evidence.
I was intrigued to see I got a mention this morning as I’ve was banned by Pravda Pedro months ago for pursuing his bullshit takes on the club and his numerous alter egos. Arguably his most awful apparatchik Spinal Tap’s Nigel Tufnut seems to have had his cage badly rattled again. Karma I guess for going on an Arsenal site and being a Spurs fan in reality.
In terms of tone and content, it’s much more jocular over here and, importantly, Ambarish (or Mb as you might know him) seeks balance and fairness. And there’s an embargo on Kool-aid. You should pop in when you get time and when you fancy a breather from the, err, mouth-breathers.
Me old mate Almunia is still working wonders by bringing sanity to the madness that infects the upper echelons of the club, and Marc can be relied on as a passionate ST holder to keep Arteta’s mincing little feet close to the fire. Lots of other good eggs checking in too from all over the place.
PS – I hope your hours are getting back to sensible levels China.
China,
Thanks. Mb gave me a place to continue writing the sketches without upsetting too many people. There’s a folder created for satire in the main menu. An old favourite of yours will be making plenty of appearances this summer ( if he can get time off from his hectic FIFA workload). I hope you and yours are well.